Balls and bullets

Catchy heading, but it does describe two of the most common things I find in the drain.


The balls come in all shapes and sizes: soccer balls, hockey balls, cricket balls, tennis balls, those useless plastic balls you see in ball pits at children’s playgrounds (I don’t know where the nearest one is to us but I see them in the goddam thousands), and handballs.

Handballs are the only type of ball that Jambo will chase. Perhaps it’s the unpredictable bounce that reminds him of skittering, shifty rats.


The other common thing I see is bullets for Nerf guns. As the incorrigible Risky Digits might say, Oh my holy Jesus born of the Immaculate Mary! If I see one of these things I must see a gazillion! Is there some kind of Nerf war going on in the headwaters of the Styx?

I came across a few young lads in Izzo school who’d been on a collection of their own and had found themselves on the wrong side of the fence when the tide came in, so I spent a few minutes chucking their collected ball and bullet stash over to them. Thank goodness these young people are out and about, ridding the waterways of foamy nasties.


Balls and bullets: be gone from this place.

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