Stolen car

Sound like a song title? Course it does: Bruce Springsteen, The Police and the Black Eyed Peas without even Googling*, but my favourite’s Beth Orton. Down on Boreas Road we often hear the distant roar of a V8 engine being taken to places on its rev counter that would its owner weep, but this little Mazda’s probably more typical of Newcastle’s quotidian car theft.

Stolen car

I’d heard the sirens the night before but, in my sleep daze, I hadn’t been able to work out where it was happening. Turns out it was right over the road, down the old night-soil lane. Jambo was fascinated by the foam that the fire brigade used to dowse the petrol blaze.

Stolen car

I’m not sure how much he ate but he’s still alive.

Stolen car

It was burnt out in a curious way; well, curious to me, a person who’s never actually burnt a car out. (In my youth I did help a mate try to right off a motorbike. It’s harder than it looks and, after several attempts and some mild injuries, we gave up and went to the pub.) The engine was untouched but the interior was cactus. How did they do that? Thank goodness for the Internet! This is how they do it in France, mes amis.

Stolen car

It might look a mess but it’s nowhere near as bad as Nathan Tinkler’s Ferrari. What do Italians make their cars out of: barbecue briquettes?

* Lie: of course I Googled.

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